Last Chance 2010

I don't know how it happened....but another year is almost over! What the crap. This is crazy. 2010...what a year. Definitely full of surprises, I can say that for sure. Some big things I guess. I closed the chapter on Utah this year and moved out to Chicago. Had an internship with my dream firm. My book finally got published. There's been plenty good.....more than enough bad....but overall, I guess it's been a good year..ish.
So, I've been thinking....what didn't happen that I wanted to? What would I do different? Etc, etc. There is one day left in this year. It's 2010's last chance! What will you do with it? What will I do with it for that matter? I think it's a fabulous reason to do things you've been putting off. I'll talk about goals for 2011 some other post. Not this one. This one is still all 2010. I mean there have got to be loose ends to tie up....apologies to make....adventures to be had :) One more day! January 31st. Show me what you're made of 2010!

Christmas (My Linus Moment)

So, you know on a Charlie Brown Christmas when Charlie Brown says, "Can't anyone tell me what Christmas is all about?" and Linus answers and says, "sure Charlie Brown..." he then proceeds to recount the birth of Jesus Christ as recorded in Luke chapter 2 of the New Testament. Well....this is my Linus moment.
I know I made a Christmas to-do list and fortunately, I was able to do most of it. I loved it. There are so many fun things to see and do in a big city at Christmas. I was not disappointed. All the same though, as I drive around and listen to the Christmas station on the radio, I hear winter or Santa songs...not really true Christmas songs. I just want to make sure I take the chance to tell all within the sound of my (virtual) voice, that I know what Christmas is all about.
I celebrate the birth of my Savior Jesus Christ. I know He was born to the virgin Mary in Bethlehem. I know that He is the Son of God and that His birth was a miracle. He lived a perfect life, taught all of us how to live, to love and to pray. He atoned for mine and your sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, was crucified on the cross and was resurrected. I add to my testimony to the many that have been born of Him, truly He lives. May we all come to know Him a little bit better this holiday season. It is the reason for it, after all. Merry Christmas everyone!

What yer made of!

So, what do you do when you've lost your trail? Run out of water....don't have food...shelter? Well if you're Bear Grylls then it's no big deal. But for most of us...this would be a pretty rough scenario. Lot's of questions run through your mind in a moment like this: How do I find my way back? How did this happen? What if I can't find my way, etc, etc. You guessed it-I'm going for another analogy!
Life just plain kicks your trash sometimes. It is what it is. You can lose everything in an instant (most likely it doesn't happen in an instant...but stay with me anyway). Then what?
The what-is what yer made of. Defining moments, they usually come when you are pushed to a breaking point. Seriously, what do you do in a moment like this? Whenever I watch Man vs. Wild I am ALWAYS in awe. I didn't know anyone could do the things Bear Grylls does. When I have my break through/defining moments, it feels about the same. Kind of wow factor. "Didn't know I had that in me."
Once again, I've come to one of these moments. I almost feel like this post should be a to be continued post. I say that because the moment hasn't passed necessarily. But I can tell you this: I've learned that these defining moments are the product of every choice you make. You just don't realize how much every choice you make reflects about you until it's brought to the surface. "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." Richard G. Scott. You see what yer made of. Here's hopin you like what you find.

My Chicago Christmas To-Do List

I'm pretty excited. This is my first Christmas living in a big city. I think we can all agree that movies are a pretty accurate depiction of real life........and this is where my romanticized vision of a big city holiday season comes from....I can't possibly be disappointed. Really, though, anything Christmas makes me happy, I'm not a tough sell on that point.
I'm pretty ambitious when it comes to Christmas, so I decided to make a To-Do List. :) (I'm going to cheat a little by including one item that's already been done...but who doesn't like to be able to check things off their list?)
1. Magnificent Mile Lights Festival (check)
2. Christkindlmarket Chicago
3. Zoo Lights at Lincoln Park Zoo
4. Winter Wonderfest at Navy Pier
5. Ice Skating at Millenium Park
6. Christmas display at Macy's
7. CTA Holiday Train
8. The Messiah
9. The Nutcracker
10. Chicago Botanic Garden
11. Caroling at Cloud Gate

It's a starter list anyway ;)
Merry Christmas everyone! ....I think it's gonna be a good one!

More Than Fine

"When I’m up with the sunrise, I want more than just blue skies. I want more than just ok, more than just ok." This is my theme song for life. More Than Fine by Switchfoot. "I want more than just okay" in my life.
So it's decision time again. There's lots of things to think about...what to do....what to do..... So, here's the thing. This little adventure of mine that I call life has come to a fork. More like a fork with appendage forks.....At any rate, it's time to make some choices and head down some paths. I find that I have recently had some safe and stable paths presented before me. The tricky thing is...is that I am also being tempted with possibilities. This is where the path analogy loses relevance on some level. These possibilities are the dreams. There is the hope and possibility that they could come about for me....unfortunately....(back to the path/fork analogy) I can't see from here how the "possibility" paths turn out. Do they come to a dead end? Then what? Will I have ruined all my chances and be left with no path? At any rate, I have to make a choice between stability and hope right now.
Back to the song, "More than fine, more than bent on getting by. More than fine, more than just ok."
Somethings are worth the risk. Sometimes you just have to roll the dice and go for it. It's come to that for me. That's the point of being young right? I still count as that for a little bit longer. Why head down a path I don't want to go, just because it's safe? What's the point if it's not what I want? The trick is, we have to decide and we will never know what would've happened had we chosen a different direction. But sometimes you gotta leap! I know what I want! and I'm going to hold out for it! "I’m not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I’m not giving up, giving up, not backing down.
....you'll get it better if you listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxiYRx55g1c

Washington for the Weekend

This last weekend I got a lot of quality time with the fam! It was so wonderful. Thursday night, I flew into Salt Lake City and hopped in a car with my sister Katherine to drive through the night to Washington (not so wonderful....but we made it). Friday was full of family time. It is always great to be with my siblings. We don't need to have an agenda...our time just passes with busy nothings...but it manages to be such a great time. My siblings are pretty clever it turns out. I feel like most of the time we spend together is spent laughing....and I happen to love laughing! I got to see my Grandma, which was great. She is such a trooper-still such a hoot even though she's seen better days. I love her!
Saturday was the main event-the reason all of us made the trip to Washington. My brother David was getting sealed to his wife and children in the temple. It was such an amazing day! There are not words sufficient to describe the joy I felt being in the temple with my family that day. I knew I was witnessing a miracle, and I just felt such a strong witness of how much Heavenly Father loves each of His children and how His hand is in each of our lives. I love the temple and I love my family. I was busting! So happy for them.
Sunday morning I got up early, went and had breakfast with the siblings and then jumped in the car to begin the exodus back to Salt Lake City. I don't know why it turned into the longest drive EVER.... I think it was a combination of a couple of longer than planned (and unexpected) detours, small bladders and who knows what else. In the morning though I got to see my nieces and nephew! Whom I love sooooo very much. It was awesome to hear their little feet race down the stairs to my room-scream my name as they jumped into bed with me! <3 They are so wonderful-we made breakfast together, played dolls a little, had a tea party and went out to lunch.
It was a full weekend-and just what the soul needed. Sigh.

Chiclone

I want my money back. Nobody told me that Chicago gets tornadoes. This week there were warnings for the worst storm Chicago had seen in 70 years. Winds coming off Lake Michigan were projected to have the strength of a hurricane. Which is neat. It was supposed to hit its climax at 4 am. I live in a little studio apt right off Lake Shore. So this made me pretty nervous.
I asked around to a couple friends about what we should do. I was told that so long as I stayed clear of my windows I should be fine, and that if it got really bad that I should go into my bathroom. Also, that I would hear the tornado sirens peeling through the neighborhood to warn me. This didn't sound promising. I went to the store to buy some food storage and water, just in case the power and water went out. In hindsight...my purchases were not very smart. I bought a tub of yogurt, salad, veggies, chicken, orange juice, all kinds of things that needed to be refrigerated.....but also, I bought a ton of ramen...which would not taste as good if the water and gas went out anyway.
Well, it didn't take very long for me hanging out in my apartment by myself to decide to migrate inland a little. A friend of mine invited me to come stay at her place, so I didn't have to brave my first intense midwest style storm alone. It turns out, that night wasn't too bad. I did hear a lot of sirens, and I think I mistook a motorcycle for a tornado warning once....but aside from Tiffany talking in her sleep, the night was pretty uneventful. Phew.
Don't get me wrong, the wind was fierce and stuff had blown all over the streets, tree branches were everywhere and stoplights had lost power. But this was no where near the intensity I had mentally prepared myself for. It did ruin my big movie debut, production got all kinds of messed up and consolidated. The worst was supposed to have hit that morning. But that night my entire neighborhood and surrounding area got knocked out. I felt like I was in a scary movie. All the street lights were out. It was terryfying to walk on the streets. When I got into my building there were emergency candles lit on the floor and there was the dull sound of an emergency alarm. None of the emergency lights were working. I had to walk through the halls, up the pitch black steps to get to my dark apartment. Who needs a haunted house for Halloween when you've got Chiclone?
All in all, I survived. It was not as bad as predicted. Though it made for an adventure, to be sure, I came out just fine....the worst of it was only a little bit of spoiled food. I'll know better next time.

Shooting Stars

Funny thing, up until about two weeks ago, I had never seen a shooting star (that I can recall....). Get this, I have seen two in the last two weeks! Crazy-I know! So what did I wish for you ask? Well, I can't tell you that. You know what they say, 'if you don't make a wish it can't come true...' Oh wait. That's not what they say, but that's what happened. I didn't make a wish.
In my defense....they disappear so quickly! My head only has time to process, "wait I think that's a..., dang it! I should have made a wish!" It's not that I don't have things on my wish list....cause I do. Two of those could be crossed off the list if I was on to it! What does this say about me? (Let me make a stretch of a generalization real quick) I think it just goes to show that you can't always take the time to analyze things. Some moments will pass you right on by if you hesitate. So what if it's not a shooting star?-wish first! Seriously.
Don't you worry, next time, I'll be ready with my wish. I'll wish first and analyze later. As I think my generalization does have relevance to my life...I am resolving to hesitate less and live for the moment a little more. For now, I guess I'll just have to pretend that airplanes in the night skies are like shooting stars. Cause I could really use a wish right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn6-c223DUU

The Silver Bullet Parks Again

A wonderful thing happened two weeks ago, I mentioned it in an earlier post. My car is now with me in Chicago! Overall, quality of living has gone WAY up. I love driving, I love not needing a ride everywhere, and I love not relying on public transit to get me everywhere and the shorter commute time as a result! It's pretty much amazing!
There is a downside, I was warned about it too. Parking. Parking in Chicago is like finding a diamond in the rough. Literally, there are all these sneaky, read the fine print signs, which the city will cite you for. There are random handicap reserved spots on the street...some areas require cubs permit parking on the night of games, and so the list of clauses goes on and on. Oh and there are fire hydrants-EVERYWHERE- taking up perfectly good parking spaces. Sheesh, they way they planned these out it's almost as if the city has burned to the ground before or something. It is such a pain.
At this moment, I am continuosly praying that my car won't be ticketed tonight. I drove around for an HOUR trying to find a spot...and the closest I could find is slightly adjacent to a fire hydrant. I stared at the curb for as long as I could. I honestly could not discern where the yellow line ended.....so here's hoping. The really sad thing is that I will get up at 6 am on a Saturday to try and move it to another spot. Hopefully, I will get lucky. I've had to get up early and move out of a spot due to school hours or rush hour traffic. No big deal, I just end up parking 10 blocks away out of the intense desperation that hits....and then move it to another random location in the morning. The good news is: the silver bullet is tiny, it makes parking so much easier and I happen to have mad skills with parellel parking. Good thing. But it is what it is. When I get loaded, or even just a little more wiggle room in the budget.... I will buy a parking spot through my building, and life will be really great!

The Social Network

So, I just got back from watching The Social Network and I really dig it. It felt a little long at moments, but I think everyone must watch this movie! At least anyone from our generation. Honestly, regardless of age, it has value. I was pretty blown away by how they chose to tell the story. It was brilliantly done. The method of story telling is the reason I'm choosing to blog about it.
I don't think the following post really requires a spoiler alert...but if you're one of those who feels like any detail from the movie would ruin the experience, skip this post. The story of the development of Facebook jumps back and forth between the depositions of founder Mark Zuckerberg and his opponents. It gave excellent context for each of the lives of the parties involved. They depicted seemingly inconsequential events as catalysts for life changing decisions. For example, the beginning of the movie shows Zuckerberg and his girlfriend break up. He then goes home, drinks, blogs and develops a network that starts a bit of a snowball effect in his life that ultimately leads to Facebook. It also shows how the context and emotional state of each players life affects their involvement with Facebook and how Zuckerberg chooses to react to each of them.
The story itself has so much to learn from-the energy and vision of Zuckerberg and those involved, etc. But it really resonated with me because each character was so human, so relatable. Event, lead to action. Feelings lead to action. Life just happened and this thing we all know as Facebook is the result. It's crazy-but that's the way life is. It just happens, one choice at a time. So choose your own adventure right? You never know where it's going to take you. You just might end up becoming the next youngest billionaire.

Milwaukee Getaway

This weekend I went to Milwaukee. It started off a little rough as there was road construction,virtually, the entire drive. I don't like traffic. I was actually looking forward to a nice leisurely drive with my car (we were just reunited this week)...but that was not to be. What was supposed to be an hour and a half drive turned into a three hour drive. Dirty trick. As I sat behind the wheel, I couldn't help but think how much my life feels like it's stuck in traffic. Especially since I was looking forward to cruising on the freeway of success, aka my internship that was supposed to lead to a long happy career. Instead, I hit road construction. You can't help but think in these moments, should I have taken another route? Is it too late to change course? Should I turn around and go back? It's tough to say. In most cases, the best option is just to keep moving forward on the path you're on...and just learn to be a little patient.
So, for those of you wondering, I did persist and made it to Milwaukee for the weekend. I was supposed to be up there early to practice a duet.....didn't get much practice....but performed none the less. It was the fulfillment of a secret dream of mine, to perform Lionel Richie's, "Hello". You know you love it too! Though the actual performance was not quite how I imagined it.....oh well.
I did get out and about a little. We painted the town(green)! We also got out and enjoyed the beautiful fall scenary. The colors are pretty spectacular!
The journey home did not go as planned either. We had wandered to a cabin a ways away from Milwaukee and I left for Chicago straight from the cabin. The GPS couldn't figure out where I was initially...so I had to just drive for a bit til I could get a signal, but then it lead me to a road closure. So I did my best to follow the detour route and the GPS did not like it. It kept saying I was off track. I believed it for a while. I was getting pretty frustrated and anxious, knowing that this was adding a bit of time to my trip home. Then I realized that I was alone on an open road in the middle of the beautiful Wisonsin scenary and that I was finally getting my leisurely drive that I wanted so much. Life's funny that way-sometimes you get what you want at unexpected times....and you might not even recognize it by the time it comes to you. The second moral for today's blog post is to remember that attitude plays a huge role in the outcome of your adventure. That's the other choice. Just as important as the path you take. Being adaptable, patient and optimistic can help you not miss out on the good stuff.

Apparently, I'm a pig

A wonderful thing happened this weekend, it significantly affected my quality of living (and arguably my safety). My car came to Chicago! Courtesy of my lovely friend Jessica and her wonderful mother. I then showed them the sights of course...which turned out to be quite the adventure. Especially our expedition to Chinatown.
We took a water taxi (after I had tried to chase down a tour boat who called out to me over the loud speaker, "We are not the water taxi. Do not worry, the water taxi is yellow." awesome.) along the Chicago River and got off at the Chinatown stop...it took a little exploring...but we finally came across shops and we stopped to eat. It definitely felt like we were in a foreign country....the smells....the language...the sanitation standards all felt very authentic! I'm afraid of what I may have picked up there....a little parasite to go along with your meal, on the house.
We stopped into a "Sweet House" that was full of dried fish, squid, shark, sea cucumber...you know, all those things that you love to snack on. They were missing my favorite though-dried eel. Terribly disappointing. Jessica pulled out her phone and was going to take a picture, and unknowingly almost caused an international incident. As she has her phone out we hear in a strong accent, "No take picture! Do you not see sign all over store! Erase it!" They got in her face a little and it was pretty uncomfortable....fortunately she hadn't had the chance to take a picture...but it made me pretty nervous...I'm guessing something wasn't up to regulation in there. We also went inside a video store, saw some really great choices that I was tempted to take home. Only they didn't have subtitles...and I don't speak Chinese. We saw a copy of Twilight available in Chinese which warmed my heart. Walked past a salon where you can have all kinds of work done-INCLUDING getting a mole removed, wow. The grocery store had all kinds of treasures, again a variety of dried and live marine life to chose from. It was something else.
We went out to the courtyard and read what are animals were (according to what year we were born) and apparently, I'm a pig. This is what it means to be a pig, http://www.gotohoroscope.com/chinese-zodiac-pig.html. I'm pretty much honest, straightforward, loyal and trustworthy.
We didn't watch the time very closely...and had to make a run for the water taxi. Didn't want to get stuck in China....I mean Chinatown. We caught it...don't even worry about it.

That's Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIiUqfxFttM
"That's life. That's what all the people say, you're riding high in April, shot down in May." I love this song by Frank Sinatra. Michael Buble happens to sing this song too.....and I love his voice...a lot. (So much in fact that I WOULD marry it.) This song has been stuck in my head, got me singing like na na na na everyday...like my Ipod stuck on replay(replay).
It happened yesterday. I finished my first internship in Chicago. This changes a lot of plans that I had made for myself, obviously...which kinda bites, not gonna lie.
It started out so perfect (aside from being required to get up at 4 am every morning sometimes 3...and walking to work by myself....in Chicago....that early in the am...) But I liked it, they liked me and I told myself, though it wasn't quite what I really wanted to do, that it was pretty close. I was starting to think that I might stay with them....but then the stress load for everyone there grew exponentially-quality of life dropped significantly...and the dream was shattered. So, I'm not staying with them...which means I am now starting over...again. Since the objective is working for an agency, that pretty much means I will have to be an intern....again.
But, "I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. I've been up and down and over and out, and I know one thing. Each time I find myself fall flat on my face, I just pick myself back up and I get right back in the race."
and so the journey continues.....will I give up on Chicago? give up on PR? It's up to me, choose my own adventure.
Here's a little foreshadowing for ya, "That's life. I tell you, I can't deny it. I thought of quitting baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it."

Dead Ends

I would really hate it when I would turn the page for the next part of my adventure and it would read "the path you have chosen has come to a dead end. You have now finished your journey." Neat. Well now what am I supposed to do? I got all excited about exploring the canyon...and it didn't go anywhere...and there's no way out.
This would be the part where I would turn back the pages and find me another adventure. Again, harsh reality, can't turn back the pages.....good news, my book hasn't reached it's end, just that particular journey. I have a hard time not looking back over the pages that got me to the dead end.....but, another tendancy of mine comes in handy. I immediately look for the next adventure.
Tomorrow, I come to a dead end. It is the day I finish my internship. When I decided to take this internship, I was so sure it was the first step of my career path. (I don't mean to imply that I think my career is at a dead end...absolutely not!.....it's a flawed analogy....but goes with the theme of the blog) Unfortunately, it is not leading down the path I had imagined for myself. As a result, I now find myself in search of another. It is disappointing and frustrating, as all dead ends are for those in the midst of a journey. A very similar thought shared with the previous post, but these moments show us what we're made of. What will you do when you hit a dead end. Will you let it hold you back.....OR will you find a new path? Choose your own adventure!

The Difference Between Those That Are Good and Those That Are Great

Ah regret. "It seemed like a good idea at the time"... a common phrase uttered from my lips these days. Like I said, I always wanted to go back and read what would happen if I took another path. I find myself wondering that a bit these days. What if...... What if I didn't take this internship? What if I hadn't chosen to get a lease? What if I had just driven my car out here with my stuff in the first place? What if I made the wrong choice in coming to Chicago? What if I took to big a risk this time? What if....lots of what ifs....unfortunately life isn't like a choose your own adventure book in this way. I will never know.
I think the end of the books say it perfectly, "You have committed to a life journey under the sea, now look into becoming an underwater architect." You have committed to your journey, now make the best of it. Don't get me wrong-I am happy to be in Chicago....but I think I am continually learning this lesson. What if is only productive when referring to the future.
It reminds me of something I heard from the BYU women's head coach, Coach Manning. I was running conditioning drills at the BYU tennis camps when Coach Manning stopped by and had everyone make a line. He asked the five fastest runners to step up to the line. He then told them to run to the cone and back as fast as they could. Well, each runner did something different at the line, whether it was taking a step backward, stalling, or stutter stepping. He then told everyone to watch their feet while they did it again. Same thing happened. He then had me (fortunately this turned out alright) step up to the line with everyone watching my feet. He yelled go and I made a clean start (luckily). He then said something remarkably profound to everyone, "The difference between those that are good and those that are great is in their footwork. When you hesitate, or take extra steps, that's time and energy you don't have." He just meant tennis....but it meant so much more to me! So that's what it comes down to with regret-just a waste.

Living the Dream

I grew up in a pretty small town, Selah, Washington and lived there right up until I finally left for college. I migrated to Utah to become a BYU cougar-which was awesome-definitely counts as an adventure. I lived in Provo though...which is way bigger than Selah....but still not BIG. I'm not sure when the dream was born inside of me...but I always wanted to break out on my own and try my luck out East in a big city after college. Well, it took a little patience and a lot of persistence, but I did it! I now live in Chicago, Illinois!
It's been a pretty lowly start for me out here....but I love it that much more because of it! I finally got an internship with my #1 firm choice and made the move with two suitcases full of clothes......and my laptop. I only had about a week to get out here. For the first six weeks I scored a sublease in a condo downtown with a view of Lake Michigan. It was pretty much amazing. I loved it!
Six weeks later though, I found a little studio apt that I now call home. I moved in with my two suitcases and a borrowed air mattress. It was pretty meager beginnings for me....I bought some bedding and towels.....but that's about it. After all....I am only an intern, not exactly raking in the big bucks yet. I do not yet own any dishes....though I do have glasses and cutlery. I just make sure to buy food that won't require dishes. It's a great weight loss program! I totally recommend it!
The other obstacle for my small town girl self, is that I have quite the talent for getting lost. It's like a super power in reverse to be honest. Everyday is like a choose your own adventure book in that sense. I walk onto a train or a bus and hope for the best....sometimes it works out......sometimes...I end up on the wrong bus in south Chicago (which is bad, just in case you were wondering) OR show up 40 minutes late to work on my FIRST DAY!!!!! I know right? Who does that? Me. That's who.
I think my first three months in Chicago would pretty much count as a collective "bless my heart" time. It's been a touch ridiculous and definitely bumpy....but I love it! As masochistic as that sounds-it's like a rite of passage and it feels awesome to be earning my place here in this city!

Choose Your Own Adventure

I don't know if any of you ever read those Choose Your Own Adventure books when you were little....but I sure did. Each page held a new adventure for you and, inevitably, each page would present you with two choices and instruct you to "choose your own adventure".
Well, I've always felt like life is like one of these books. In fact, I have often said of my own life, "everyday is an adventure". Meaning, it never gets boring. Here's the crux though....I don't know about you......but I was always the kid who would choose one adventure and then go back in the book and see how things would have turned out if I had trekked the snow covered mountain instead of swimming past the whirlpool of death. I kind of think this is a pattern for my life. I confess, at times I have a hard time choosing my adventure....or, more accurately, trying to choose them all.
I invite you to join me in this ongoing adventure, or you can turn back now. It's up to you-choose your own adventure. But I'll warn you now, buckle up-it's gonna be a bumpy ride!