Women's March on Washington, FOMO and The Dark Side of the Resistance

Well, I'm dusting off the ol' blog that hasn't been visited in two years to share some feelings about the Women's March on Washington. It was great to see so many women unite and to be supported but I just have not been able to shake a great sense of dissonance over the march. It has even haunted my dreams, so I'm hoping by sharing another voice, that I will get back some peace of mind.

Am I the only one that feels like my gender was exploited this weekend?

Did these women who marched even know what the march was advocating for?

I think Trump is a pig and his locker room talk made me ill....should I have marched to communicate that?

What precedent will this march set for future elections/inaugurations, etc, etc?

What message does this send to the women who voted for Trump?

I want equality in the workplace....so does that mean I should have marched?

Is this really what solidarity looks like? Why do I feel so manipulated?

So many emotions. I've experienced them leading up to the march. I experienced them yesterday during the march and I find they are still lingering (along with all the social media posts about the march) today. Am I experiencing a level of FOMO? Yes, I think I am. Am I also feeling frustrated with the organization and the march itself? Yes, I am. Am I feeling like my gender was taken for a ride yesterday? Yes, I am.

I've seen posts that say they felt "healing" and "solidarity" and I think that's great. I want those things for my friends. I've seen posts that share #whyImarch and their given reason is something I can totally support. But I've also been wondering if these women knew everything that this march stood for? Or did they not get the memo? Did they know they were marching for "pro-choice"? Did they know that "pro-life" supporters were meant to be excluded? Did they know this march was for "ending police brutality"? Did they know the march was for "caregivers","minimum wage","immigration reform","clean water and clean air (climate change)" and more? The list goes on, you can read the "vision" here.

I believe in transparency and I sure hope that all the women who associated their name with this march, clearly understood, accepted and embraced all of the objectives. It just feels sneaky to claim this was a chance for women to unite in solidarity and then slip in that you have a "bold message of resistance".

They claimed is was a peaceful protest but still saying "I'm with her" having celebrities like Madonna claim this is the start of the "rebellion" and that she wishes she could "blow up the Whitehouse" doesn't really count as peaceful in my book.

It was too much and it's not peaceful to try to overthrow our newly and fairly elected president. I just can't get behind it and I feel sick to my stomach thinking that there were probably many women who did not fully understand what they were advocating for.

The organization claimed it was not an anti_Trump protest....but I'm pretty sure it was for a lot of participants...again - it should be clear. It should be unified.

This is #whyIdidn'tmarch and why I feel so bad about the march. Honestly? I feel bullied. The loudest voices are yelling what it means to be a "strong woman" and it comes across as "if you're not with us, you're against us". Can't I be for equality for women, be pro-life, be concerned about police brutality but also not join the Black Lives Matter movement AND still be a strong woman? Is that really not an option? Is there only one way to be the best kind of woman? Do I have to be "Nasty" and have voted for Hillary? (Which by the way, if you're really her follower, then why are you protesting? She was all smiles and graciousness at the inauguration. She's accepting the results and moving on. Maybe consider following that example as well.) Is there really not room for all of us, women?

I want so much for our country to accept our democratic process (I know, I know, you have the right to protest as part of democracy. I don't need a history lesson.) we elected a president. He may not be your first choice but I wish Americans would move forward. What happens the next time we have an election? What then? I want America to heal. And just one last request - if you are a person who can't understand how anyone could vote for Trump - I would encourage you to make a list of five positive, maybe even honorable, reasons that could have led someone to vote for him. Let's try to understand each other better. That's what unity and solidarity looks like to me.

My thoughts on Kate Kelly and the LDS equality dialogue

So, I kept going back and forth about whether I should post anything after the news of Kate Kelly broke and there was a lot of dialogue about women and their role in the LDS faith. I've decided to post but really don't feel obligated to read...I just felt like there was a chance that some of my friends might be curious what my thoughts were about all of this. If that description fits you, then please read on. I myself am pretty tired of the subject and don't necessarily want to call more attention to it but here I am writing anyway. As far as Kate Kelly and her membership status of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints goes, I don't really have much to say. I don't have any judgement about whether I think it was the right thing to do or not. I will say this about excommunication, it does not have to be an ending for anyone. It is something that happens in the church for a few reasons, in this instance it drew attention because of the position Kate Kelly has made for herself but this is by no means an isolated incident and I truly do not believe that the leaders involved in the decision had any manipulative intent. I think they did the best they knew how in the circumstances. So this is the bottom line for me that brings me great comfort as I go along in my day to day life - I have been taught and I firmly believe in a just and merciful God. I believe He knows the real intent of our hearts and I believe that He provides every possible opportunity for His children to gain their salvation. He sent His son to atone for all of us and to make salvation possible for everyone. I also believe in eternal progression and that we will get to continue to work out our salvation after this life. (Though I do believe our choices matter on this earth as well.) Okay, so now to address the question of women and the priesthood and equality in the LDS church. One of my favorite things that anyone has said to me is this, "You know....they say the female sex is supposed to be mild. But you're not. Mild." I don't consider myself a suppressed or limited woman in any respect and I like to think that those who know me would agree. I do what I want. I come from a long line of strong women, in fact, one of my great, great (I think it's two greats) grandmothers Martha Jane Knowlton Coray was the first woman to serve on the board of trustees for Brigham Young Academy which we now know as Brigham Young University. If you read the account I have linked to, you will see that she was a champion for education and a peer of the men in the church including the prophet, Brigham Young. My own mother was a strong woman. She valued education very much, all of her seven children have graduated from college and five of the seven have graduate degrees. She taught in the ghetto of Chicago when she and my dad lived here in the 70s. I always saw her as a leader in my ward while simultaneously offering love, acceptance and friendship to our fellow ward members and visitors. I have always seen myself as an equal and a peer to the men in my church. I feel like from a young age I learned how much my Heavenly Father loved me and I honestly feel like the teachings and even the culture of my church experience taught me that I could accomplish anything I wanted to and I've lived that way my whole life. I am always setting goals and trying to grow and I'm proud of the life I've lived. I feel like I've been able to serve right alongside the men in the church to make proposals for goals, growth and events that have been embraced and supported by my ward council. I'm kind of taking the long way to get there but my point is that I am equal and I am the only one who gets to decide if I am equal. I don't need anyone imposing any western constructs of equality or power on me to define that for me. I am the only one who gets to make that decision. I am tired of voices saying that I'm not equal because I vehemently disagree with that. For me I don't see equality being measured in terms of sameness. I see equality measured in terms of balance. I know my divine potential and that's enough for me. I don't need any calling or priesthood in this life to tell me that I'm equal. I know I already am. Martha Jane was described this way and I claim this for myself as well, "Very early in life she evinced a character in a degree somewhat rare for one of her sex--that is, of decidedly doing her own thinking; hence, before adopting any principle of religion, law, or politics, whether proposed by father, husband, priest, or king, she must clearly see and understand for herself the righteousness and consistency of the matter."

One last tribute to Governor Romney

Well, it's over....but before I'm forced to move "FORWARD", I want to take a minute and pay one last tribute to my very favorite presidential candidate of all time, Mitt Romney. I'm not exaggerating. The first time I heard the name Mitt Romney I was a freshman at BYU (which was a while ago....). The winter Olympics were in crisis and I saw him come in and be a hero. I was impressed, so it was easy for me to recognize that name when I heard that he was running for Governor of Massachusetts. Then in 2008 I heard that Governor Romney was running for President and I paid attention to that primary. It's still a mystery to me how John McCain came out of that the nominee...but Obama was elected and I decided to hope for the best. Well, a year later I graduated with my master's in mass communications, ready for my career in PR.....only it was the worst of the recession and jobs were hard to come by. The two year cycle of temp work, freelance writing and PR internships began. Not awesome. If you knew me at that time, you probably heard me say a time or two, "Man....I really wish Romney was President right now." Then I heard that Mitt Romney was running for President in 2012 and I was stoked. I met this guy who came to Chicago on assignment for the Romney campaign last November to get Mitt Romney on the ballot for the primaries. I volunteered immediately....and with so much in common, how could we help but start dating? I don't even know how many times I went out in the freezing cold to knock doors and gather signatures for the Governor...but I lost my pinky toe to frostbite (okay that part is not true....but it was freezing!) After Christmas my boyfriend began working on the advance team for Governor Romney and I began to travel on the campaign trail as well. First stop, Iowa and on to Florida, Nevada, Wisconsin and here in Illinois of course. I was there the day the staff pulled their April Fools joke on Governor Romney and my cheeks hurt I was laughing so hard as the Gov retold us about that moment. I was able to get my picture with him and shake his hand a couple of times. He was always so gracious and charming. While I was trying to stay out of the way in hotels in between rallies and debates I saw first hand that Governor Romney was a very attentive and thoughtful husband to his wife Ann. I heard him speak in person at least a dozen times and over and over again, I felt reassured that Romney was exactly the man we needed for the job of President. Everyone I met on his team was sharp, driven and detail oriented. The campaign took its toll on my relationship...and sadly that ended, but I continued to be devoted to the campaign. I donated monthly and made phone calls for Get out the Vote. I watched the debates and the Frontline presidential profiles. In the past I have had preferences for a candidate, but never before have I felt so strongly that a candidate was the absolute ideal for President, but I felt that way about Governor Romney. For those who have looked at the Chicago Tribune

, you saw my face and how distraught I was by the results of the election last night. It has been a long road and I almost wish that it was longer just so that I could still have the hope that I would be able to refer to Romney as President Romney. So, before the dust settles let me give my praises to this man. He is a good man, an excellent example of charity and thoughtfulness, he is a brilliant man and would have been a wonderful President. The theme song for the post is I Cry by Flo Rida because "I cry just a little, when I think of letting go". It is hard to invest so much and have things turn out this way. I will say though, that I believe the world is a better place because Mitt Romney ran for President. It was nice to finally address and clarify some misconceptions about the religion that we share. Also, I think he has raised the bar for President Obama, and I sincerely hope that he will step up. I will continue to pray for him everyday he is in office. So goodbye to the Romney/Ryan 2012 campaign, thank you for giving us your best.

Living the Dream

Alright, so I have mentioned before that I am living the dream here in Chicago now....but a funny thing happens, when people ask me what I do and I tell them public relations they often ask, "what's that?" What's that? Let me break it down for you with this definition: People who work in the public relations industry are generally known as public relations specialists, communications specialists, or media specialists. Their primary function is to serve as advocates for their employers—businesses, hospitals, universities, nonprofit associations, and other organizations that wish to build and maintain positive relationships with the public. During a typical day, a public relations specialist may perform a wide variety of tasks. Writing press releases, booking speaking engagements, planning publicity events, managing business contacts, responding to consumer concerns, and diffusing potential conflicts are just some of the many duties that may be part of the job description for someone working in this industry. When developing a public relations plan, the public relations specialist typically follows a six step process. Research: Preliminary research helps the professional understand the variables within the case. Strategic planning: Data must be worked into a comprehensive plan of action that answers all key questions. Counseling: Experienced public relations professionals understand the importance of seeking input from others before implementing a plan. Internal education: Everyone affected by the plan must be informed of what steps will be taken. Action: The plan must be carried out, with careful notes taken to document progress. Evaluation: Determining if the plan was successful helps develop a course of action for future public relations efforts. We write, we coordinate interviews, we tweet, we post, we research, we monitor news....etc, etc. PR has also been established as the second most stressful job behind doctors. It's true. The joke in PR is "Remember, we're not saving lives!" ....and it's so funny because everyone acts like that is exactly what you're doing. I'm drawn to it because it can be so dynamic and challenging...but at the same time I have days (like today) where I feel like I'm going to have to start wearing a wig because I'm going to rip out my hair! But to give a real inside look at what a day in the life of a PR professional is like I want to share this blog with you. http://99problemsbutapitchaintone.tumblr.com/ So, this is the dream. I living in the big city working at my big girl job living the big city girl life. Theme song of the post is that one from the Devil Wears Prada

. Enjoy

Summer, Summer, Summertime

Well, it is Sept 20th, the last day of summer. I thought it fitting to write a tribute to this summer.....

but then I accidentally erased my whole blog post as I was about to finish...and now I am really tired...so I'll try to call out some of the highlights. Just know though, this post was so much better the first time I wrote it. The inspiration for this summer came from watching Selena Gomez's video for Hit the Lights (the song dedication of this post-ps. I wanted to have a summer as amazing as the one I saw in the video-and I totally did. It begins with a road trip to Nauvoo. We had such a good time that we filled up a van with people on Memorial Day and went to the (Lake Michigan version of a) beach town St Joseph. It was so cute, relaxing, fun and perfect. Over the 4th we took a trip to Milwaukee to see some fireworks, catch a tour of a brewery and go to Summerfest, the world's largest music festival. I went on a trip to DC-stayed with an ol' roommate. I visited a friend from my MA program who just happens to be Senator Mike Lee's press secretary (she's a pretty big deal) and bonus-she introduced me to the Senator (who I was very impressed with) and then they arranged a private tour of the Capitol building for me which was awesome. Oh and I saw the monuments, and the memorials and took a riverboat cruise on the Potomac. I capped off the summer road trip with some friends in Door County, WI for a long weekend camping trip over Labor Day. It was amazing. We ate breakfast at a restaurant with goats on the roof. Yes, this is literal. Please refer to my Facebook photos if you don't believe me. We ate at other fun places, I got to ride a horse and later a bike, we hung out on the beach, sort of hiked, made campfires and smores and just had a perfect time. The summer was also filled with movies in the park, beach volleyball, carnivals, concerts, dancing in the park, cubs games, boat trips and more! That-AND I managed to survive a mud run and started taking harp lessons. Like I said, this summer was really good to me. So, now it is time to say goodbye summer. It is bittersweet this time. I have loved you, but I am ready to embrace the fall. I am ready for class to start again-I will continue with harp, signed up for a couple of painting classes and bought a yoga pass. It begins! To Summer with love, Emily

Happy Anniversary Chicago

We did it Chicago! Some people said we'd never make it this far....and maybe I was one of them sometimes....but we've proved them wrong. We're still together you and I. Two years ago, I got on a plane for a three month internship with three suitcases. I didn't know what to expect...or if I would stay..but I was excited. Movies like "While You Were Sleeping" and "The Lakehouse" had made me want to live here someday and that day came on June 20th 2010. It was a rocky start. On my last anniversary I recounted my misadventure that led me to be 45 minutes late, lost and ragged on my first day of work and in the city. I've loved and lost a lot while here in Chicago. It has been a roller coaster. There have been such great high moments and there have certainly been dips, twists and turns. I went from being the girl with no dishes, sleeping on an air mattress in an otherwise empty studio apt, to living in a spacious flat with roommates and free furniture that I have acquired. It's like the "Circle of Life" with furniture in Chicago-love that. I can remember one morning in the first round of temping, being on call for work and being so grateful when the call came to go downtown. I was dressed in my skirt and blazer suit because it was the only suit I owned and got on the bus. During my bus ride I got a call that they didn't need me anymore. I was so broke, I couldn't spend the $2.50 to ride the bus back to my apt so I walked in the biting, freezing January cold in my high heels with the wind blowing fiercely, trying not to cry because it would only make me colder. Now, I am grateful to wake up every morning and know that I will walk to the brown line to get off at the Quincy stop and walk to the E-Trade Financial building across the street from the Sears/Willis Tower and take the elevator to the 26th floor where I go to work at my job in public relations. Faces that greeted me with smiles when I first moved here are slowly moving on with their lives and to new adventures. Now I have become the reassuring, welcoming smile. I have met such strong wonderful people here in Chicago. A friend of mine said of this city, "Chicago is a place to refine souls." I feel like that is true. There is so much good here....but it can also be so hard on you. I have grown so much while I have been here....but I have had to fight to stay here and make me dream a reality. I wanted to work for it...and have certainly felt the intensity of growing pains. To a certain extent, that was part of the adventure that I longed for. I looked at it as if a rite of passage. It was so much more than I bargained for. So many memories have been made here...some so that I will always keep in a very special place in my heart. It has been a ride, to be sure, but I think I've got better at buckling up and learning to throw my hands up in the air. The lake, the pier, the architecture, free festivals, concerts in the park, the art institute, water taxis, fireworks, museums. It has all been worth it. Would I do it all over again? No. But I am so grateful that it is all a part of me now. Happy Anniversary Chicago, I still love you so. The theme song for this post I think articulates how I feel about what my time in Chicago has meant to me. The Fighter . Enjoy.

It's Happening Again....

.....I don't know how this keeps happening.....but it is. I'm getting older this week. For the love. Every year I keep hoping I won't, but it's just no use. My age just keeps going up. Vicious cycle. In effect...I usually start to panic. There are just so many things I want to do with my life. So many goals I have to accomplish. Places to go people to see....and so then I feel like I have to be able to cross something off the list. This started when I turned 25. I hopped on a plane and went to Guatemala to serve in an orphanage and then joined their board of directors. When I turned 26 I got a book published and went to India. When I turned 27 I did a sprint triathlon. 28...well, I let moving to Chicago count as the big to-do for that year. This year I got a full-time job in my field, so I think that counts for something...but I just needed something a little more. I have no exceptional talent...but I've always wanted to have some of my art displayed. So I turned my birthday celebration into that goal. My good friend, Jimmy was kind enough to turn his home into an art gallery. The lovely and talented Keryn played the harp, there were flowers and fancy cheese plates. It was lovely and it was a dream come true. I am so thankful to all of my friends for supporting me in checking something off my t-do list for life. I definitely feel like I can cross this one off. Now on to the plans for next year...I've got some big ones ;) Watch out for em! Honestly though, I really was just so touched that so many people pitched in to make it happen and that many others came to support. I have such wonderful people in my life and I hope you all know how grateful I am for you. This sounds a little like a New Years post I know...but that's kind of how I view it. It's a brand new year for me and I'm ready for some really good things...and I'm willing to work hard to get them!