It wasn't much...but I called it home.

Today, I am moving from my little studio on Grace street. I love my little studio. This breaks my heart a lot-a bit. I didn't necessarily love it when I first took it, but that probably is more a reflection of the context of when I first moved in one year ago.
Yes, this is a flashback moment. When I first moved to Chicago, I was subleasing a condo downtown. Which was awesome. My internship with Edelman was in full swing and taking up all of my time...so the end of my sublease snuck up on me really quickly. I only had a matter of days to find a new place....nobody I knew had room for a roommate...so this was the cheapest, safest little studio I could find. It was close the lake and the utilities were included in the rent.
I moved in with three pieces of luggage and a borrowed air mattress. A guy who saved me from taking the wrong bus to the south side said to me after hearing this story, "this sounds like the beginning of a chick flick." Hahahahahaha, I think it does too.
Slowly I began to get more things. My good friends drove my car out to me, full of my belongings. I bought dishes, a lamp, a chair, some art. I got a free futon...and a free bed....and somewhere along the way, it became home.
The reason for the feeling of home I think is the memories that have been made in this little studio. Friends and family have come to visit. I've had some pretty significant conversations in this place that have strengthened relationships that are very close to my heart. We've laughed, we've cried.
It was always my refuge. I always felt safe here and I will leave a little piece of my heart with it. Goodbye little studio on Grace street, you've been so good to me.
The song dedication for this post is: "This is Home" by Switchfoot.

Learning from (my) Mistakes

Everybody make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Well, that's what people say anyway.......but I'm not so sure they mean it. I feel like people can know that, and yet still not exhibit that understanding when someone does in fact make a mistake. I know I feel that way about myself for sure. People also say, you're your own worst critic....and I think they mean me specifically when they say that.
I just find that it can be hard to be patient with repeats. Like you touched the stove and got burned....so why would you touch it again? Uh Duh- It's still going to hurt this time too. It's almost like I can't help myself though. Between work, relationships, budgets and just life...there's a lot of room for error.
I think for me, part of the solution lies in finding other choices. It's kind of like when I'm trying to keep myself from snacking; it's a lot easier to keep from snacking when I don't just tell myself to not snack-but stick in a piece of gum or something. You get what I'm saying right? You've got to replace negatives with positives, you have to change behaviors. It starts by recognizing where you make a mistake. However, instead of me just beating myself up for doing something dumb, it's much more useful to take control and create actionable solutions to do instead of said dumb mistake.
It's like that saying from "The Secret Garden," where you plant a rose a thistle can not grow. ......besides...I always mean really well....so bless my heart I guess.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZIzJUrViY4

Utah, THE WEDDING, Washington, Home...and the Reunion

So this last month I got the chance to go back to Utah and hang out with my sister and her family. It was so good for the soul to be with them-I love my sister's kids so much! If you saw them....you would understand. Not only are they the most beautiful children I have seen...but they also are the sweetest. I can't even tell you how much I love being an aunt. Tea parties, dance parties and tickle fights.....yeah....it's the best. My sister Katherine is pretty great too-love her lots!
As it turns out I went to Utah for the wedding I had been dreaming of for the past year. No, not my own sadly....(someday right? quick somebody pat me on my knee and smile sympathetically!)...but two of my friends finally figured out that they were in love with each other and that they should do something about that! I was so happy to be able to be there for their wedding. Jessica was stunning and Dan looked so happy....it truly is a beautiful thing when people find love with their best friend. It just made me so happy to see the generous love that they have developed for each other. Watching them be sealed in the temple as they listened and smiled at each other-it warmed my heart to know that this is just the beginning of their love story. It only gets better from here Dan and Jess! ....or so I'm told.....I wouldn't really know....but I'm pretty confident that will be true for you.
After the wedding I flew out to Washington, to see more family and (gasp) to go to my High School reunion. I know....I'm surprised too. It was great to see my brothers, my sweet, darling sister Kristen and my Papa. It did me a lot of good to see them all. I love my family.
For that reason, (to spend most of the time with my family) I only went to the bbq in the park for my High School Reunion. It was nice to see my old friends and yes I meant old-I don't know how this happened to us....I swear we just graduated. Some things have changed...some have stayed the same. It's funny to see what time will do for people. To see one of the goofiest guys from my class now married with a baby and planning on going into the ministry. Who knew! It was fun. I really don't know why people get anxious about their High School Reunions-there's no need. I was happy to see everyone!
All in all a good showing for just one week! I got to see so many people that I love and return to the places that I have once called home. It was a good trip. This song dedication is for Dan and Jessica. It was the song they played for their first dance-and I think the words are a perfect foreshadowing of their future. I know you will both continue to grow in your love for each other! Love you both! Congrats again!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AtaZ_NU_tU
also.....I happen to love this song too.....