Great Expectations

How does the story go for Pip? He get's these ideas in his head about how he thinks his life is going to go and what he expects from people....and then finds out he's wrong most of the time. Am I getting the gist right? I'm not necessarily going for a discourse on Dicken's literary work, however, I find my mind has been mulling over this thought today. Expectations. Expectation setting is a common theme you hear in a work setting. It's important to make sure that the people working with you know what their job role and responsibilities are. In our interpersonal relationships it is the same. Most tension is rooted in expectations not matching up. How can we possibly meet someone's needs if they don't communicate them? How will we know what really hurts or upsets someone if they don't share with you what those buttons are? We won't. So, my next question is this: how do you know when you have appropriate expectations of the people in your life? Are you setting yourself up for disappointment like Pip? There is of course a common base of social norms that you are pretty safe in expecting of others....but what about the rest? I think relationships are a lot like snowflakes in that they are all beautiful, intricate and unique. You can not make a cookie mold for how you interact with everyone in your life...or you shouldn't I don't think. It comes back to this question: how do you know? Communication is key, obviously...but even then, I don't think we are even fully cognizant of the expectations we set for ourselves and others. So naturally, when you ask a question looking outward, and you're weighing things in your mind, it often requires you to take a look inward. Are your expectations for yourself too great? Are you making allowances for yourself that you shouldn't? We all have our pet, "I'm just this way" qualities. Are those okay to have? If they're harmless, that's one thing, but ask yourself. As for expectations of this adventure of life...well, that is really tricky. In the words of my internship agency founder Leo Burnett, "When you reach for the stars, you may not reach them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either." I think so many of us sell ourselves short on what we are capable of accomplishing. I have found that I can do so much more than I ever thought I would. The trick is you have to learn to leap. I'm not perfect at it by any means....but all of the things I am most proud of in my life have required a leap. Along the same lines, it is important to expect life to change your plans. I've been learning that I can and should do all the planning and hoping that my little heart can manage. Put all of that same little heart into working to get it and then trusting the rest to work itself out. Well...I serve myself best when I can maintain that attitude anyway. This posts theme song, Hang With Me sings all about this idea of expectations. That and I'm addicted to it. Enjoy. ps-I've started hyperlinking the songs, click on it to listen.

Michael and I

I am a comms nerd. One of the theories that I found most fascinating while studying media effects was parasocial theory. The premise of this theory is that through enough mediated interaction with an individual or media persona the process of relationship formation happens. It's like you know them. Aka, you form a parasocial relationship with someone you don't actually have any interpersonal interaction with. ......so, my confession is that I'm little bit in love with Michael Buble. He's my parasocial boyfriend. I know, it's not that original of a choice. But let me tell you why he is such a perfect one. His voice is like butter and he's a cute one. The best thing about Michael though, is that he sings to me the things I want to hear and he'll sing it over and over and over again, no matter how many times I need to hear it. Like the song Lost . It's like I can put him on repeat or something.....oh wait, I can. He is always there when I need him....just like he tells me in Hold On. So, there you have it. It's out there. Go ahead and judge if you will. Go ahead and pretend like you don't have your own parasocial relationship. I know Michael and I are going to be very happy together.....he just hasn't me yet! ....minus the part where he's married to someone else hahaha